Thanksgiving Song

Moments I won’t ever forget.

Thankful

Thankful for these three little people…and that big guy….

• Family that lives near to us
• tennis and the ladies I’ve gotten a chance to meet
• Wayfarer
• Reidville Elementary
• that Dave and I both have jobs we love
• for music to run to
• adoption
• blessings I don’t deserve
• my keruig
• the amazing blog community that I have found
• to be able to travel in the summer with Dave
• Haiti
• Friends who don’t quit on me with all my crap issues
• our home
• good health
• old friends
• new friends
• those who have invested in Frankie’s life
• those who have invested in our lives

So much to be thankful for.

I’m running a half marathon for a cause!

With our trip to see Frankie and then getting home full speed into Thanksgiving and the Holidays I’ve not been able to give just attention to my big race coming up in January that will be supporting Heartline Womans Program.  An update as of this week, A college student from TX just posted a matching grant of 10,000.00.  If all of us runners combined can raise 10K by December 18th then she’ll match it. 20k to the ministry!  I think it’s amazing what people will do when God prompts their heart.

So I along with another group of women  and some ment are embarking on a huge task.  We will be running in the Disney half and full marathon in January and we are running to raise money for a great cause!

My history with Haiti is long.  In High School I went on a missions trip there and it changed my life.  I always wanted to go back.  Through some connections that my husband had with then a band called Spur 58 I became aware that Aaron’s wife Jamie had been to Haiti and they were going to lead a team there for a trip.  I began reading Jamie’s blog and seeing all the people in Haiti that she was connected with like Licia and Lori at the Rescue Center and these people called the Livesays who I started reading their blog after I realized they would be hosting our trip in Haiti while there. 

On that trip we were exposed to HEARTLINE. We went to their building and got the grand tour. I was in awe of how they run things there.  Especially the children’s home.  They really know what they are doing and b/c so many peoples lives are being changed.  When we decided to adopt through Haiti, we KNEW we wanted to adopt through Heartline.  And today a year and a half into the process Heartline takes care of our son Frankie while we wait for him to come home.  They do so many things at Heartline besides helping children find families.  They also have an amazing womens program.

The sewing program was amazing to me. I’ve  brought a purse home with me on  a few trips and then have used as gifts that I gave out to my girlfriends.  They are each made by a women in the sewing program and then sold and that women gets to keep her profits. WOMEN’S LIVES ARE CHANGING. They are now creating their own destiny.

Their prenatal program is making major impact. They are educating women on how to be good mothers and how to nurse their babies and how to feed their babies. They are giving them the knowledge that they need to parent their child and parent them well.

So us HEARTLINE RUNNERS are running to raise money for an ambulance to help transport women to the local hospital if they cant deliver at home. To read about our goals visit here: http://heartlinerunners.blogspot.com/2009/10/our-specific-goal.html

Dave and I have given to this organization through supporting some of it’s families for almost 2 years now.  We  plan on giving more to this great cause b/c it’s something that we believe in and can stand behind. And now with this last trip and Dave finally has had the chance to be there we have both now seen this organization in action.  We have met their leaders. They are THE REAL DEAL and they serve Haitian women, and men and children with their whole heart and soul.

Please consider sponsoring me to run a half Marathon.  With the matching grant your sponsorship will be doubled!  To donate please head to their website and go to the chip in button: http://heartlinerunners.blogspot.com/

And if you want to get something for your donation, here is one of the runners that has a ton of raffles going on.  Maybe you’ll donate in hopes of winning something.  That usually helps me!  http://watchingthewaters.wordpress.com

“

Thankful for the act of Love, the act of Giving

The Holiday Season always comes down to one thing for me.  Giving.  I mean isn’t that what life is all about?  And especially as we move this week towards celebrating Thanksgiving and then Christmas?  Even times of being Thankful, I often think about all the ways others have given and invested in me. 

At the root of a life of giving for me is also the root of love.  Because to give is to love and to love is to give.  I really believe that. 

I try to love hard.  I realize I fail miserably at it many times.  In the end through true love never gives up. (thanks Doc).  And better yet, it does not GIVE UP… it PUTS UP.  1 Corinthians 13:7 – Love never gives up….., or per the message, (Love) puts up with anything.  There is a lot of Grace that comes when you stick around and continue to love when you don’t feel like you can anymore.  Because LASTING LOVE never gives up looking and acting with Grace. 

That is what has been going through my head these past 24 hrs.  As I think of all the people who have shown acts of Love to me and our family and as Dave and I try to live in Grace and keep loving even when it’s hard.  Love will win out.  It always does.  Today I am thankful for the act of Love, the act of Giving.

 

Small world.

Remember I mentioned seeing and briefly talking with a man in the airport on our way home that was bringing his son home?  Just read a blog I follow that linked to them here… saying how happy that  there was good news and their son was finally home…  When I clicked on the link and realized it was the man I talked with…. it just made me smile.  Small world… a small world where God is doing Huge things in the lives of us very ordinary people.  I just love hearing about families in the adoption process through Haiti.  I’m thankful that their journey is now over and he is home.

What on earth is taking so long?

Thank you so much for letting me be so “raw” in my last post.  The reality for me is that it’s good for me to blog about.  When we got back I made sure to tell people that I could not wait to fill them in on our trip but before I did, please read that post so you know where we are coming from so we don’t have to rehash it.  It’s been good.  So good.  I’m so thankful for the encouragement and support that comes our way.  Most of the time when we don’t expect it, God knows just what we need and makes sure we get just the correct dose.

So one of many questions that we have gotten since our return is the one that always seems to be asked.  “What on earth is taking so long?”  And the answer to that which is simple… “it is what is is.”  It is complicated because the process is just that… complicated.  Does that clear it up for you?

When there I mentioned that Dave and I were able to sign the papers or “the book.”  A few months ago a new law was added in Haiti that adopting parents must travel to Haiti and physically see the child they are saying they are wanting to adopt.  This happens at the beginning of the process.  I think this came of some corrupt agency’s/facilities that were sending people a picture of a child and at the end of the process when they came to bring their child home it was not the same child.  I understand the need for this step but also you have to understand it now adds another step to this crazy process.

We did not expect to be able to sign anything while there.  Before we left I had asked if we would be able to and we were told that we were not far along enough in the process.  We decided to still go, knowing that we would be making a return trip sometime sooner than later.  So when we got there and there was talk of us going to sign “the book” you must imagine how surprised we were.  I could not believe it.  It was such a good surprise and personal blessing of encouragement that we could get this done.

We signed on a Saturday.  We actually went to the house of the clerk of the court.  I would like to describe it and the book but you probably would not believe me anyway.  It would explain the reason things take so long. If what we did was part of the official process of adopting from Haiti then it’s very understandable why it is taking so long.  But it’s signed and it was “the book” so we are happy to have that done.  I wish I could have took some pictures but it did not seem appropriate at the time.  Again, God has been so good to us on this journey.  We have had good movement with our papers and for that we are so thankful.

So what is next?  I copied this from a blog I found.  It may help you understand the timeline a bit better if this is in fact accurate.  Time really has no meaning in this process.  Some things that are to take a while can go faster and things that are to take just a few weeks can find themselves dragging on for months.  

Step 1:  2-4 weeks = First Legalization. This is where all of the papers are authenticated.  - done

Step 2: 1-4 weeks = File prepared for IBESR - done

(These first 2 steps took our papers 6 months)

Step 3: 2-6 months = IBESR (Haiti’s Social Service Department, aka the black hole), where a social worker will look over all of your documents and decide whether to approve your adoption request.  - done (took us 7 months)

WE ARE HERE RIGHT NOW!  Step 4: 2-12 weeks = Parquet is the head commissioner. This step involves one person releasing the child’s file. Civil Court Legalization

Step 5: 2-8 weeks = The adoption is finalized. After this point, the children are legally yours.

Step 6: 2-6 months= Minister of Interior Affairs (MOI)/Haitian Immigration. The file is submitted into the passport process. The passports are printed in the adopting parents last name. This step takes the longest and yet could be done in a day.

Step 7: 1-3 weeks. U.S. Customs approval. I-600 is filed by adopting parents.

Step 8: 1 week = Consulate/Visa Appointment. Child receives visa in preparation for travel to their new home

Thanks again for all of your love and support!  They do come home…they do come home…..

Starting at the End

We finally made it through security and I looked up and took a quick picture. 

Before heading through one more security check (if you can even call it that) I wanted to head upstairs to the gift shop to get a flag for Frankie’s room.  On my way I passed a guy holding a Haitian boy maybe a bit younger than Frankie.  I smiled and asked, “heading home?”  He said, “yes we are.”  I said, “did you adopt?”  He replied… “yes, and we are finally going home after such a long wait.”  I smiled and said, “we are adopting too.  congratulations!”  As I walked away I was given another shot of hope.  They do come home.  One day they do come home.

We boarded the plane and took off and I grabbed Dave’s phone to snap a few pictures of the view below. 

Then the tears came again and as they streamed down my face in my heart I uttered good bye again to the country that our son is from… The place that he resides until one day he comes home.  Beautiful, Haiti.  We will return, we will return.  Hopefully in many trips for the rest of our lives.

The day started like the rest of our days had been.  We woke up, got dressed and made our way to the boys home to play for a bit and then grab Frankie and bring him back to the apartment to hang out with us.  But this day was obviously different.  I knew we would be leaving.  I knew what was coming.  I did not think about it the whole trip.  That was good.  But I remember the first time I said goodbye this past January and I totally underestimated the power of emotion and the feeling of abandonment that I felt.  It was awful.  It was a big wave of emotion and then with time you get numb and forget the rawness of it.  I’m not even sure if it’s appropriate to blog about it because maybe it’s too personal and some things are best kept.  But then I’ve been so transparent in our whole journey that it would seem unfair not to share.  Because I really think at the end of such brokenness you find the beauty that exists and to not share that would be awful in it’s own right.

After getting Frankie we went and spent some time in the pool. 

The family we stayed with who manage the homes and nannies are amazing people.  I’m so glad that they got to meet Dave.  We are so much better as a team.  I’ve loved meeting all these people in the past but it had been so good to have Dave meet them and now our relationships involve each other and not just me.  Priceless.  They have a pool.  Yes, in Haiti there is a pool… at least 3 that I know of!  It was great having it there because it was something we could do special with Frankie that he normally does not get to do.  He loved it.  Loved it so much that the first day he fell asleep right in the middle of eating his lunch because he had had way too much excitement.  I’ve got a video of that that I will be sure to post sometime later.  After the pool we headed back to the apartment and I gave Frankie his bath and lotioned him down and dressed him in some of the clothes that we brought him.  And then we went on to gather our things while he played with Farmer Tad.  It’s a toy that I brought back in January.  I keep it with me and bring it with me when I visit.  It’s something special we play and I’m hoping it helps him to associate me with.  Someone gave me that idea.  It’s a bit crazy I know but I think it works.  He did not put it down (except to play with daddy) I felt a bit bad for packing up and taking it instead of leaving it.  Oh well, he’ll get to play with it again.

We headed down to drop off some extra food items we had left with Byron and Shelley and realized we did not have many family pictures together of the three of us so Byron offered to take a few.  He did a great job.  Here are a few of my favorites!

Then it was time to be heading to the airport.  We needed to take Frankie back to the boys home.  We stopped off at the apartment one last time and then Dave prayed for us and Frankie.  We kissed all over him.  Told him we loved him and told him we would be back.  We would be back.  We were so thankful for the time we had.  And then the slow walk to the gate.  I mean at the time I was not thinking.  Frankie was on Dave’s shoulders.  We rang the bell and they let us in. 

 The kids were in playtime stations and a few of his friends were on the trampoline so we walked over there.  He was clinging to Dave.  I think he knew we were about to leave.  We took of his shoes and encouraged him to play.  I can’t even remember if I gave one last kiss goodbye?  It was a blur.  Dave placed him up on the trampoline and pulled him off of him as the nannies took him and tried to make the transition peaceful.  Do you want honestly or me to fluff it at this point?  I’ve got that ugh feeling just  thinking about it again and the reason I need to post “starting at the end” so that I can kind of lock that part down for a while.  We smiled and told him we loved him and he was crying, trying to grasp back at us and then began the awful.  He started crying mama.  And from that point on I heard his cries and him yelling my name and I had to keep walking… Dave following behind with his hand on me and we exit out the gate.  Did we do that right?  What could we have done it different?  I don’t think there is ever a right way.  We stood outside the gate a bit to wait to see if he would calm down.  He didn’t. I wanted to go back in so bad but that would not be fair to him either. And so we just had to keep walking but I could not stop hearing the distant yelling ”mamma”   As long as I  could hear it never stopped.

How do you process that?  I’m not sure.  Again I’m not even sure I should be blogging about it.  I know he’ll bounce back.  They all do.  And I do know that it’s better for us to have been there and to love on him than to not visit at all.  For that I’m sure.  I think next time we need to plan to leave him when he heads to bed and then he can start a new day.  It’s just that you want to spend time with him so it would have been hard not to spend the morning with him.  I’ve questioned since that moment how we could have done it different. I did not feel like we did it right.

Even though there are these low parts such as the goodbye’s… What is that quote.. “It’s better to love than to not have loved at all?”  Adoption is hard.  It has it’s not so fun moments.  BUT and it’s a huge BUT… it is so worth it.  I would do what we did 1000 times over for him and to be on this journey we are on.  Why on earth every family who has the means and love would not choose to give to someone who is in need of a mother or father is beyond me.  Please if you even have the slightest prompting to be someone’s mamma or daddy and you have the means to do it, please think about it.  It’s worth every hard time that will most certainly find you at some point.  I’m sure of it. 

Frankie in his life had a mamma who loved him so much.  I only know what we have been told.  She died shortly after giving birth to him.  I do know this.  She in some way found a way for Frankie to be brought to heartline and in that move it gave us the opportunity to cross paths with him.  His mamma loved him.  I have the bag she packed for him as proof of her love.  Even the perfume so that he would remember how she smelled.  Oh how she loved him.  He will never need to question that.    He then had no mamma but this mamma got lucky enough to come along and privileged beyond measure to have the chance to take the risk and to now be called mamma by him. He uttered my name over and over again our whole visit… “mamma”  and as heartbreaking as it was to have to leave him screaming my name…  I have to rest in the wonderful fact that yes,  I AM his mamma now.  And one day he’ll be here and part of our family.  And we’ll choose to love him unconditionally like we love our girls.  We already do.  We’ll cheer him on in life and dare him to dream big dreams and be his biggest fan.  Frankie, in the midst of your possible questions of what happened yesterday and where did she go today?  Mamma hears you and I love you.  And although you may not understand yet why we come and go, you do now have a momma and she loves you very very much.

And better yet, your daddy who you seem to enjoy even more than me loves you oh so much too. there is no denying who your favorite is!

Now, I’m packing up the sad tears.  We’ll keep on doing life and will celebrate the day we all actually live under one roof!  Who says blogging is not free therapy is crazy!

Feeling at Home away from Home

I just asked Dave to sum up in 6 words or less how he is feeling right now.  Feeling at Home away from Home was his answer.  I’ll post a lot of thoughts when we get home but it’s been a fantastic trip so far and I can’t even begin to tell you how important/good/amazing etc it has been to finally have Dave come to Haiti and meet his son.  Frankie is doing so well.  He’s so happy.  He’s so well cared for.  All his friends and him spend their day laughing and playing.  I feel as he knows us and that he is enjoying his time with us as well.  I am so thankful we chose to add to our family through adoption.  It really is an amazing thing.  If you have ever had that heart urge to adopt I encourage you to do it.  We are so blessed that Frankie is a Rhodes.  He’s one amazing little guy!

Happy Birthday TODAY sweet Izzie

3 Years ago today, Izzie Rhodes joined the Rhodes Clan.  It was a LONG day.  I reflected on it on her year old Birthday.  You can read that here.   And When she turned two here.    So thankful for our very sweet and ever SO FUNNY girl.  She is truly living up to her name!

Izzie when she was born:

    

Izzie at One:

Izzie at Two

Izzie at Three

No words needed

Do you ever run across a picture that says it all?  I just did this weekend.  Our friends from FL were up last weekend who I have not seen in 12 years and they were able to see my race.  Gina snapped a picture and just tagged me on it this weekend.  We all hopefully have those people in life that  love us fully… regardless of all the junk and mess that we are. That will choose to walk with us through the good and bad.  It’s been no lie that the past 6 months have brought much stress, change,  joys, struggles, questions, confirmations, confidence, clarity, confusion…. you get my point.  It’s really not life without it and if you can’t relate can you let me know what planet you live on? 

Dave was gone this weekend in KY and I had lots of time to be here with the girls and reflect on life.  And the reason I get through so many questions that come and go on our journey is because of this man.  It really is a joy to do life with him and I’m always amazed that God saw fit to allow me to walk with him.  He supports me in my personal dreams and passions and encourages me to do things that without his encouragement I might have never done. 

Sorry for the mushy gooshy post but it’s just been a mushy gooshy time and I just needed to share