That did not just happen…

Emma has a friend over today for a play date.  They are having so much fun.  Outside riding john deers and playing in the water.  Izzie just got up from her nap and we are sitting downstairs snuggling on the couch watching Max and Ruby when in walks Emma and her friend with our summer fish net that we use at the beach.  It took me a minute to register what was going on.  “look what we found” they said….  Inside a dead squirrel that we saw this morning outside on the side of the road in front of our house.  Dave was to move it but had not got to it yet.  So sitting in my house on my couch I realize the girls have this huge dead squirrel in my house in a fish net.  I wanted to laugh… wanted to go hide (I hate dead animals).. I immediately took the net and ran for the front door but feeling of the weight of it made me start to gag…..

• you did not touch it did you? (no)
• what were you thinking? (we wanted to save God’s creation)
• you are sure you did not touch it? (yes)
• Mom, are we in trouble? (no)
• Mom, why are you laughing (um, just the funniest thing I’ve had happen to me in a while)
• Girls… hold on a minute…let me get my camera….

I thought these things only happened when you have boys???? 

 

 

 

So there you go.

Adoption in Haiti is hard…..

It is very hard being an adoptive parent in the waiting.  I have never physically met the Howertons but they hold such a special place in my heart.  Their son Keanan, lives with Frankie at the Maranatha Childrens Home.  They in the past have even shared the same nannie.  Frankie and Keanan are brothers and they have and will continue to do life together until our families get to take them home.  I have learned SO MUCH from Kristen in her blog journeys and how their family processes their adoption.  Without her knowing she has been a huge encouragement to me and makes me feel like I’m not crazy and that someone else out there really understands the heart feelings that come with waiting on a child for not a few months but for a few years.  I wanted to post her latest update in it’s entirety.  My heart is to heavy for them.  I can’t stop thinking about them and praying for them.  So here it is… and maybe it will help all of you who ask us about this crazy process understand that there is no rhyme or reason for anything and it’s truly a celebrated miracle when these kids come home.

We are running into more delays with Haiti. This one really felt like a punch to the gut. I’m not sure why – by this point I should be more prepared for the insanity that is adoption from Haiti. The only thing that is predictable in this process is that nothing goes smoothly.

We are now almost two years into this process. When we first started out, I thought Keanan would certainly be home by now. I had his name on the waiting list at the preschool India starts at in 22 days. I have his bed ready for him in the room he shares with Jafta. And yet we find ourselves spinning our wheels again, with no real understanding of when he may come home. But it definitely won’t be this summer. The little baby I met in May of 2007 is now almost 3.

It’s hard to explain what is going on, so I’ll offer two sets of explainations:

for those not familiar with Haiti: to be approved to adopt, there are three government agencies that must approve our adoption. They all work as slow as molasses and can take anywhere from 6-18 months in each stage. We were ready to leave the 2nd stage, but found out this week we got bumped back into the first stage.

for those who know the Haiti system:Parquet just sent our dossier back to IBESR to have presidential dispensation redone.

Now as to the inevitable WHY question – that’s where we just have to go a little “numb+dumb” about the whole thing. Because there is absolultely no logic or rationale to this stuff. And to answer the constant question I get from caring and indignant friends: don’t these people in the Haitian government care that they are keeping kids from joining a loving home?

The answer, sadly, is that I’m not sure that they really do care. Haiti is a hard and heavy place, and everyone is in survivial mode. I don’t think international adoption is high on the priority list when your country is recovering from a year of natural disasters, famine, kidnappings, violence, and political unrest. I know that there are people at our orphanage who care very much, but there is nothing that anyone can do to make the “powers-that-be” move any faster at signing papers for the hundreds of children who wait.

Which leave us with this fact: We have a son, who continues to live in a different country, without the presence of his family. This is a fact that is so painful for me that it sometimes takes my breath away. It is painful for me, but how much more so for a child. I worry all the time about Keanan growing up without us. He is loved, and cared for, and I know he has a lot of fun. But he needs a mommy and a daddy.

Sometimes I wonder in this process what I would do if India or Jafta were forced to live in an orphanage in another country. I can’t imagine I would sit idly by. I would probably pack us all up and move there to be with them, because they are my children. And that’s really how it feels with Keanan, too. Mark and I both have a constant tug that we need to just pack it up and move to Haiti for however long it takes. But then the practicalities and anxieties of that plan overwhelm us, and we passively choose not to act on it, because we drop the subject for another couple of months. It’s a conversation that is always on the table, and yet never really on the table. It becomes a sort of nagging guilt: I SHOULD BE WITH MY SON, BUT I’M TOO SCARED. And really, that’s the truth of the matter. Fear.

So we go on with our busy lives and amp up the sarcasm a notch to hide the fact that we are in continuous pain over not being whole as a family. It is a seperation that is palpable, and even Jafta feels it. It has a weight like depression or grief, and we feel so utterly helpless to change things right now.

We have met other friends along this path, and they are going through similiar things. There is so much pain amongst waiting families, and there is pain for the waiting children, too. If you never have, go read Jamie’s blog. She articulates so many of the feelings that I have, but don’t have the energy to even speak.

Adoption is hard.

medika mamba program and how it works

I just posted this morning about Tara and her quest to raise money to run a Marathon.  I read tonight on Real Hope For Haiti’s Blog some fuller details about the medika mamba program and wanted to post it in it’s entirety before I move on to another subject.  So here it is… again, amazing things…

How we met

I first met Randy and Pat Mortensen last year right before the big flood in Cazale.  Randy and Pat are the directors of  World Wide Village.  Troy L. had planned a trip  to come visit RHFH with them.  At that time the roads were terrible.  They slid all through the mud to get here on the slick road.    I gave them a tour of the RC and we talked about many things.  At that time, we had a row of  kids in beds.  They all had kwashiorkor and were all very sick.  There was one little girl, Soline, that really touched them in a special way.  She was severly malnourished and needed some extra care to recover (thanks Jeanne)  Here she is below. We talked about many things that day, but the most important was talking about starting a medika mamba program in the RC.  They committed, on the spot, enough funds to provide the peanutbutter for 10 children.  Once we started with those 10 then we would  regroup and see what we all thought about the results.  I was so excited that day.  We had a new hope in helping the kids and I had two new really great friends.

While they were pulling out the driveway, the rains were starting and the flood was coming.  Before there visit,  the road had been impassable for several days.  After the flood it was impassable for months.  All I know is God’s timing is perfect.  He got them here and they saw a need and decided to meet that need.  I love that ….you see what needs to be done and you just do it.  Troy has been working hard since then to get the program started and get the actual peanut butter here to Cazale.  Believe me it is not an easy process.   You just cannot go to a place and buy it.  It takes time to get it.   So we started the program at the beginning of May. 

How it works

Each child has to be weighed and measured in height each week.  For the child to be admitted onto the program they have to fall below a certain level of standard set up by the World Health Organization.  If they have any degree of kwashiorkor, they can be admitted.  Once admitted we fill out a chart.  On this chart, we keep records on them each week.  There is a scale to follow by their weight/height to tell you how much weight they should be gaining each week.  The first week ,they are treated with an antibiotic.  The second week ,they are dewormed.  They can just eat the peanut butter and nothing else (still drinking  fluids) and still gain weight.

Once you have the weight of the child, you go to a chart provided to you.  This tells you how much PB to give each child per day.  So, for example, a child that weighs 5kg (11 pounds) would need to eat 7 tablespoons per day.  A child weighing 12kg (26 1/4 pounds) would need to eat 17 tablespoons per day.   We have come up with a system that works for us.  Each child has a bowl with their name on it.  The ladies work on feeding the child throughout the day.  They start at 7am and finish around 8pm.  Depending on the amount they have to eat and how much they like it, it can take 8 to 10 feedings per day to get the full amount eaten.

The ladies wash the bowls out each night and take them to Keverly.  She then fills them up with the right amount of PB for the next day.

The kids are not fed inside the RC.  We tried this for a few days.  But image having 10 kids that get to eat and a lot of others that don’t get to.  It makes for a lot of crying for the others.

The peanut butter is made with peanuts from Haiti, milk, oil, vitamins and minerals.  It is not  as creamy or thick as most peanut butter that you buy in jars.

The Results

I have been working in Haiti for 14 years now. I have seen many, many products that promote that they work for malnourished kids.  Some of them do, some of them don’t.  This is my own personal opinion-this is the best.  So many times the products might sound good but the kids do not like the taste.  Medika mamba has a great sweet taste that the kids love.  It works, really works.  Most children should reach there goal weight within 8 weeks.  Unbelievable…yes, it does sound like it.  But it is true. 

This is Horlando.  He is 2 years old.  When he started the program on May 2nd he weighed 8.8kg (19 pounds 4 ounces) on May 23 he weighed 10.6kg (23 pounds 4 ounces).  These stats are wonderful, but the picture is the proof.   Amazing!

How you can help

Tara L. is going to run 26.2 miles.  Two people are willing to donate a matching grant of $5200.  Tara is looking for people to sponsor her per mile for a marathon she is running in October.  If she can get sponsors for $5200 then the matching grant and donation made on her behalf will total $10,400!  These funds will be used to purchase more Medika Mamba.  This, I am telling you will save lives.  Head over to their blog and to read more details and more info about donations. 

Some of the kids on the program now

 

Kids that could have benifited from medika mamba

We want to thank World Wide Village, Randy and Pat Mortensen , Troy and Tara Livesay for making this project a reality in Cazale.  Nou renmen ou anpil!

Help a great cause…

Have to pass this on.  Troy and Tara were the family that hosted our group on our trip to Haiti last May.  They are incredible people.  So down to earth and real and well… if Dave and I were called to live in Haiti, I imagine our lives would look so similar to theirs (less children of course.. they have 7 )  And if we lived close I imagine we would find so much in common and turn out to be great friends.  I have blogs I follow and their is not a day that goes by that I don’t anticipate hearing about the latest happenings with their family.  If you want to follow a journey that is real/relevant/life changing/funny/did I say real already?  then follow them here. 

Tara just posted about something she is doing.  Read it here.  I just donated to the cause.  If you ever wonder if it matters??  IT DOES.  If you ever wonder if 26.00 or more can be a part of something greater that can change the lives of malnourished children? IT CAN. 

Again, I love this family.  I’m thankful our lives have crossed paths.  I’m thankful they have been so encouraging and supportive on our adoption journey with Frankie (they were the ones who lead us to Maranantha)  I’ll be rooting her on and am thankful for their hearts and their love for Haiti and her people.

My 2 Favorite Soccer People

Dave was an incredible soccer player in his day.  I hate that I missed a big chunk of that part of his life.  I never saw him play in college.  By the time we started dating he had gone down with his second ACL injury that ended his soccer career. I never played soccer so I don’t really understand the passion for it but I’ve enjoyed Emma and watching her play this spring.  We celebrated with her at awards night last night.  She scored her first goal on her last game this season.  I’m not sure how much soccer will play in future but I do know this… she has wheels of “steele” as I like to call it.  She’s as fast or faster than her mom…

Heading Home

Two of Frankie’s friends/brothers are heading home.  I’ve met these boys a few times now and am thrilled that they are homeward bound.  Esaie & Isaac, pictured with their new family the Millers, left a few days ago for their new home in Maryland.  John from his blog wrote “We are so thrilled that these brothers are now with their adoptive family and home where they belong.  It is always a day of mixed emotions when children leave but we always remember that we live here so that some may be able to live elsewhere.”

 

Their Story:   It was over two years ago that a man carrying two young boys came to our gate and told me that the boys were brothers, their names were Esaie and Isaac, and their mother had abandoned the family months earlier.  He asked if we could take the boys since he had absolutely no resources to care for the them.  I explained that we were not an orphanage, and the children that entered Maranatha Children’s Home, travel to adoptive homes in the States.  He said that was not a problem and then I told him that I needed to see their documents and his as well and that we would need him to release the boys before a judge.  He had no papers on him but he said that he had them at home and that he would return the next day with them.  He again asked if we could take the boys.  Now it is VERY rare that I will accept children without documentation but in this case I was concerned about the lives of the boys since they were so sickly.  So we accepted Esaie and Isaac into the home and I have never seen the father again.  He never returned as he said he would and he has never come by to check on the boys.
This week another father did come to our gate.  A father with his wife and children who not long after Esaie and Isaac were abandoned into our care said, “we want to adopt them.” 
And now over two years later Gene and Shon Miller an their three children are here to bring home their two sons Esaie and Isaac.   
They have worked toward this day and prayed and waited and prayed and now they are here with their sons.
Left by a father, who perhaped loved them enough to let them go, into Maranatha Children’s Home where they have been loved and cherished, and now to their new family where only God could possibly love them more.

Thank you for your love and support as we endeavor to be the hands of Jesus here in Haiti.

John McHoul

One of the Many Reasons….

One of the MANY reasons that I am THE BEST MOM EVER.  Look what I serve for breakfast around here.

Ok, I heard you.

It has been a while.  I often wonder if people even care that I post?  I mean it’s good for me to get my thoughts down but it’s funny because my life is a walking Blog and I post lots during the day in my head and lately I just feel like, I don’t think anyone really cares if I don’t actually get those thoughts posted.

I saw this girltoday at a Gold Party… That is a later post.  She asked what was new since she normally knows but since long time no blog, she was needing the latest.  You really read enough to want to know?  And the room went “yes”.  So ok, I hear ya and I’ll get back to it.  I’m amazed at how other peoples lives have changed so many things I think about from a day to day basis and some of those people I get an inside peak into from their blog.  So if you care to know, check back.  The summer is about to start which means I’ve got lots to talk about since I’m about to enter single motherhood.  For the past 10 years it’s always the same…  Summer for the Rhodes means dad on the road, camps, mom surviving at times, but loads of fun regardless. 

Ok this is turning out to be a lame post.  Deserved to much more but that will have to wait.

WE ARE IN!!!!

BIG NEWS – Just found out We are IN.. IBESR that is!!!!!  Papers were submitted April 24, 2009.  7 months after our papers arriving in Haiti… we are in the system!!!  This is a HUGE day for our family and we continue to pray for all those still waiting to be submitted…. We’ve got a LONG way to go but it’s nice to be in the system!!!  WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Mothers Day

Mothers Day….

• Hand Painted Flowers from Izzie
• A Flower Pot From Emma
• A special decorated cake from the girls
• Many thoughts of our Haitian Sensation
• And a picture with my husband with his eye’s closed (shocker)

Could not ask for anything more….  I”ve had such a wonderful Mothers Day Weekend.  I am so blessed to be a mother.