The Groove

I’m spending the day with these two amazing kids above.  We are really starting to get into the groove of things around here.  I’m feeling more settled and I think Frankie is too.  I feel a Target run on the horizon! The strangest thing is that for the past 2 years I have been following blogs of so many people adopting from Haiti.  I have celebrated as some of those children have come home and followed along up to till a few weeks ago people’s struggles on the wait.  And then in a matter of a week an earthquake, humanitarian parole, and our children coming home.  Despite this awful tragedy all of us who were in the adoption process have our kids home or are in the process of getting them home which means I have had access to instant community of heart passions.  I am able to read other peoples stories about how they are doing and be encouraged as I read their joys and struggles and know that I am not alone in this whole transition.  I am learning SO MUCH from them. 

As much as I was so unprepared and had so much more reading and other things to do the great thing is that now I’m learning with a team of people as to how to handle this transition.  And the chance of that happening like it has is well another one in a million chances.  Another piece of beauty in this broken thing that has happened.

I follow lots of people.  Wanted to share with you blogs that I follow.  You see, our story is just one of SO MANY stories out there.  Each one God is writing.  I’m thankful to have the opportunity to read others stories and share ours.  Here are some of the  people I follow…  I have more but my kids are begging me to “get off the computer mom!”

Heartline Blogs (Frankie’s Friends)
His Blog, Her Blog: Brought home Sammy and Gino from Heartline. Tim is the one who helped get Frankie out of Haiti!  Ran with Jen in Orlando
Jabluvonsky Family Blog: Brought home twins Mark and John in November.  Jennifer was a huge help in finding ways to get the kids out and has also been a great ear for me.
Four2Six: Brought home Naomi and Amelia from Heartline. Good adoption friends! Sarah and I visted Haiti together twice. 
Rageagainstheminivan: Brought home Kembert and one of Frankie’s friends. Amazing family. Ran the half marathon with Kristen in Orlando.

Other Blogs I follow:
Debra Parker – One Girl:  They brought Ronel Home.  Good adoption friends! Visited Haiti with Debra 2x
DreamingBIGdreams: Brought home Amos. Good adoption friends! Jamie lead the trip on my first trip back to Haiti.  Have learned so much from her. 
A Twinkle in my eye:  Blog friend Amanda who brought home Joshua.  Hope to one day meet her and her family.
Adopting Kemley: Blog friend Kristin who adopted Kemly.   They just got their dossier in Haiti this past November and now Kemly is home.  May be the shortest wait ever!
Bringing our boys home from Haiti:  I can’t tell you how happy I am that Ian and Alec and  are home.  Funny thing is that Stephanie lives in Chile and our friends the Reichley’s.. David’s sister lives in Chile and they know them!  Small world but not really!
From Haiti to Home: Blog friend Cathy who brought home Delmace
Whaiting for our Daughter: Blog Friend Tracy who brought home Avery.  I can’t wait to one day meet their family.
Sea Salt Mosaic: Julie and her journey to bring her kids home.

The Power of Children, compassion and concern.

I’ll never truly understand what it is inside a child that allows them to accept and hear things that stir them to compassion and concern.  I should not be surprised.  I have seen my own daughter without fail, ask about Sterling almost every night and pray for him.  She is so concerned about him. (Sterling is 6 and recently had a tumor removed from his brain and is still having seizures)  Becca if you read this we must come see you soon.

I watch 4 year old Eli as he is watching the pre show to the Superbowl and see’s a story unfold about a family who does not have a home and he stops eating his chips and dip and says, mom we need to pray for them.

I get emailed by a friend who’s family has been so supportive of our adoption and her son Ben just last week wanted to pray for Frankie and his friends one night before bed.

WE ARE BLOWN AWAY BY THE POWER OF CHILDREN, their compassion and their concern.

Here are two stories I wanted to share.  One is of a church and one is of a second grade class who heard of our story and of Haiti and the devistation….and felt compelled to do something for where Frankie is from. 

The children at Crossroads Community Church in Simpsonville, SC collected an offering to help Haiti to send to Heartline where Frankie was at.  They collected 105.00. AMAZING!   – We hope to take Frankie there soon to say thank you!

I also received an email from the Spartanburg Herald who did our story a few weeks ago about a teacher from a second grade class in Spartanburg, SC who was looking for info from us -   She said, “My students wanted to do something to help the children in Haiti after the earthquake there. We talked on 1/19 as a class and decided to bring in change we could fit in a film canister. Each child had one. By Friday we had $81.19. At that point, we decided to name the project and the children wanted to bring in $100 by the 100th day of school which was on Wednesday, 1/27. We named the project $100.00 by The 100th Day: The Helping Haiti Project. On the hundredth day, our total was $124.14!

Here is what we need. I told my students about the family…I believe the Rhodes??? that adopted the little boy named “Frankie.” I told them about him coming from an orphanage there. We decided as a group that we would like to send our money to that orphanage in Haiti. Obviously we will need help to find out information to do this I’m not sure who wrote the stories about that family. I am hoping you do. If you could pass this information on to that reporter, we would like for the reporter to get in touch with the family and perhaps they will contact us. The children are very interested in Frankie.   We are in a few weeks going to be able to visit this class with Frankie and say thank you.  AMAZING!

Never…ever…ever… underestimate the power of Children, their compassion, their concern.  I think Dave and I and our whole family have been blown away by it.

This is Home

My friend Courtney made this video for us from past pictures and footage over the past few weeks. .  I’m sure you all are getting sick of seeing pictures and footage.  This really summed up for me our journey in pictures.  This is home.  Our family is now where it belongs.  I’ve cried every time I watch this.  I think because it represents so much closure to me.  Today marks 2 weeks that Frankie has been home.  In the past 3 weeks our lives have changed for the good forever.  I have so much on my heart to share yet not enough time in the day to be sure I articulate it.  It will come.  I promise.

I will be sure to tell the countless stories of the way so many people have blessed us in this process.  I am blown away from 2 years ago until now  as we are shown love.  I am blown away at what we have heard groups of people have done to raise support for Haiti and especially for Heartline where Frankie was from… children giving of their money to send to help. 

A little boy is asleep upstairs in a room with his sisters.  He is home.  This is home.  He is now where he belongs.  What a ride it has been!

Our first moments together in America

Thanks Jason and Sarah for capturing our first moments together!

Some Pictures

Just pictures for now…. 

I posted some of these on Facebook but wanted to be sure to post them here as well.  I have lots of words but for now, I’ll leave you with these…

We continue to do well.  Still adjusting to our new world with Frankie now here.  Each day brings new surprises, new joy and of course new struggles.  But overall we are doing really good.

These two are really bonding well.

He really likes the snow (sleet) but am thinking he probably thinks that it’s normal  like everything else.  Don’t be angry at me over the pink gloves.  It’s all we had!

Trucks and playing with them.  A new thing for all of us!

And Barney.  There I said it.  I thought we escaped parenthood without his influence.  WRONG.  He asks to watch Barney 50x a day.  I think they watched him a lot in Haiti.  Barney is his BFF.  For the love!

A little piece of a tune

Just when I think I’m not doing very well at handling this transition as I should be….little man breaks out in song right where I was able to grab the camera.  He hums the tune… I hear it and know where it’s headed. I stand in the moment and am so thankful.  Thankful that Jesus loves us.  Thankful for the people who have been Jesus to my son long before we were able to.  Thankful for all the people who continue to show Jesus to us with their love and support in this new Chapter of our lives…  Who knew Chapter Two would have such meaning all over the place for me.  I never would have guessed it! 

Ronel

I met Debra  in 2008.  She was on the trip I took to Haiti in May when it was my first time back to Haiti since High School.  We shared a room together.  We layed in bed in the morning and heard the children come get water from the spicket outside our window.  We even visited Heartline together for the first time.  She was there when I first saw Frankie. We also were together a year ago this past January as we both went to see our children.  I remember flying home on our AA flight and just talking about all that has happened in both of our lives.  A year later Frankie is home and Ronel is not.  My heart is broken for her.

My other friend and adoptive mom Kristen wrote about Debra this morning in her blog.  I could not use any better words to describe what I’m feeling for her as well and their journey to bring Ronel home.  I will post it here in it’s entirety.  Please read and then pray for Debra, Ronel and their family when you think about it.  UNICEF has complicated things beyond measure and kids are not getting out on humanitarian parole right now.  That will be another blog later.

Here is the story through Kristens Eyes…..

My heart is heavy tonight for the adoptive parents who are still waiting to get their children home from Haiti, and for the children who wait in the balance. Since we got Kembert out last week, things have changed dramatically. On January 18th, the US government announced it was granting humanitarian parole for orphans already in the process of adoption. This made perfect sense: these children were shown to be eligible for adoption prior to the earthquake. The Haitian and US government go through extensive searches when a child enters the system to show this to be true, including the procurement of death certificates, DNA testing, and birthparent interviews. I was so proud that our country saw the value of evacuating these children into the care of waiting families in the US, not only to remove them from a precarious situation, but also to free up room in orphanages to take care of children who are orphaned or displaced as a result of the earthquake.

This all seemed to make sense for a couple days. The US agreed, Haiti agreed, and we saw lots of personal interest news stories of happy families united with their children. That is, until UNICEF stepped in. UNICEF, with their seemingly charitable gestures towards children worldwide, happens to be an organization that is staunchly, and often illogically, anti-adoption. It is also an organization that wields a great amount of power (and money), and when they put the pressure on, Haiti complies. There is a lot to be said about UNICEF’s views. There is an essay brewing there – but for now, the short version is that UNICEF would prefer children without parents to be raised in an institution within their culture of origin rather than by a loving family of a different culture. In other words, race/culture trumps family/nurture/security. (It doesn’t take a psychologist to see the faulty logic there).

Over the last week, the effort to get previously-matched children out of Haiti has slowed considerably. Extra steps have been added, redundant steps, steps that pose no added measure of safety since these children HAVE ALREADY BEEN CLASSIFIED AS ADOPTABLE BY THE HAITIAN GOVERNMENT, and since these parents HAVE ALREADY SUBMITTED AN EXTENSIVE HOMESTUDY/DOSSIER/BACKGROUND CHECK. This is effecting hundreds of waiting children. One such child is Ronel. I want to tell Ronel’s story, because I think it is a compelling example of the need for international adoption, and a tragic (hopefully only temporarily tragic) example of how UNICEF’s corruption affects orphaned children.

Ronel was abandoned at the Rescue Center of Real Hope for Haiti, which is an amazing medical mission that takes in malnourished children and nurses them back to health. I am constantly amazed by the life-saving work these sisters do. When he was brought in, he weight 28 pounds (less than my daughter India). They were unsure of his age, but guessed him to be about 7 or 8 years old. Over a few months at the Rescue Center, his weight nearly doubled. Because his parents had died and no other family came to claim him, they searched for an adoptive family.

(photo from RHFH blog, before treatment)

Debra answered that call. I’ve never met Debra in person, but I feel like we’re friends through this crazy blogging world. She is friends (the real-life kind) with Jamie, who posted a photo of Ronel on her blog. Debra saw the picture and knew. THIS WAS HER SON. She and her husband Ernest started the process to adopt Ronel. This was well over a year ago. Like many of us, they were in the wait to get him home when the earthquake happened. Like many of us, they moved into action to try to get their son home.

Ronel was supposed to come home the night Kembert did. He was one of the kids who did not get approval, and got left behind. My heart was so heavy for Debra that night, as she rejoiced for those of us getting our kids home. But even worse was reading this visiting missionary’s account of what that night was like for Ronel:

Tara told me today that the boys were flying to the US. One was going to his adoptive family in Houston Texas, the other to a family in Dallas. When I got back from my days work, the boys were all dressed in their very best to meet their new families. They were so excited. I was so excited for them. It was hard to watch them go. Later in the evening after dinner, the truck returned from the airport where 27 children were flying to meet their new parents. In the front seat of the truck was Ronel, the 6-7 year old that was staying in my room. I asked why he was still here and Tara told me it was because they needed one more paper for him. The other children got to go. She said she hoped they could get the needed paperwork tomorrow. I would never wish for you to see the disappointment on Ronel’s face because it would crush your heart… it did mine. It was dark and the power was off. He went into our room, laid down on the bed, pulled the sheets up and sobbed. It was so sad. Tara came in and talked to him in Kreole… I’m not sure what she said but I know she was trying to comfort him. After a time she got up and left as I sat across the room. I could not leave him by himself. I went over and motioned for him to move over and I laid down next to him. The tears were pouring out of him. He was still in his new clothes as he fell asleep.

The embassy wanted one more paper to send Ronel home. He was supposed to go home the next day. That was a week ago.

Three days ago, Debra’s husband flew down to try to get him out. From Debra:

 

I did not know I would literally have to fight for him.

 

He [Ernest] just got word that the US is deciding to comply with a request from the Haitian government. That request is to approve of all children who leave the country after they have been cleared by the United States. France and Canada have not complied and are getting their waiting children home. Our US Ambassador has not cleared children and will not see the parents waiting/pleading. They were just told that the Ambassador has left for the day.

There are sick children and pregnant women sleeping on the floor in hopes to bring children home all the while nothing is being signed out. All documents are ready to go except for that approval.

…E has said that every time they call him to the window Ronel runs up to his side and says a phrase in kreyol with an expectant look on his face CAN WE GO? As in can we go home. As in can we go to THIS home. His home.

I will not lie and say that I am not fighting fear. I am. I am fearful of Ronel being hurt again. Being left again. It would break Ernest. I cannot imagine what it would do to Ronel. Would he understand that we would still fight for him? To think of it makes my stomach sick.

 

That was written yesterday. They spent all day at the embassy again today. They still don’t know if or when the ambassador will sign them out.

Ronel’s story is just one story of hundreds. Hundreds of orphaned children with waiting families, and nothing separating them but political manoeuvrings and power plays that put children at risk. I hope that you will read this and consider educating yourself on UNICEF’s history in thwarting international adoption, and register your voice of dissent.

Raymond Joseph
Haitian Ambassador to US
embassy@haiti.org
p 202-332-4090
f 202-745-7215

Kenneth H Merten
US Ambassador to Haiti
Tabarre 41, Blvd 15 Octobre
Port-au-Prince, Haiti
Haiti-earthquake@state.gov
P 509 22 29 8000
F 509 22 29 8028

Hilary Clinton/Dept of State
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Main Switchboard:
202-647-4000

He sleeps, and I need to.

Frankie, our little man is doing so so good.  It’s almost been a week and I’ve been pleased with how everyone is doing.  I don’t have anything to go by but I really feel all is well.  Frankie is a great sleeper.  He takes wonderful naps and once you tuck him in for the night he sleeps hard until morning.  Nothing wakes him up.  Is some ways our house is way too quite for him.  I pray he is finding security and love in our arms.  I pray that as we attempt to redirect him or start structuring his boundaries that he’ll see our acceptance and love through that as well.  Our girls have been a huge part of his easy transition.  They have blown me away.  The transition has been easy but that does not mean it has not been hard.

He sleeps….

and I need to.

There is still so much going on for me personally that I am finding it hard to sleep.  The whole transition for me in 2 weeks from mother of 2 to mother of 3 has been an adjustment for me.  A huge adjustment.  As well as so many other things that are going on  it’s just a big change.  I have had my heart and hands in many responsibilities outside of the home over the past 6 months and some of those can go on hold in this transition but some of them can’t.  Those are the details you work out when you know you have  a year left in the process not just 7 days.

But I think the other reason I just can not sleep is that our story is among many other people’s stories.  We are not the first family to adopt from Haiti nor will we be the last.  My friend Debra and her Husband Ernest who is in Haiti right now are trying desperately to get their son Ronel home.  My  heart is SO HEAVY for them.  We just continue to pray.  There are still Heartline children… 5 of them that are still in Haiti and are needing to get home. Byron and Megan are doing everthing they can to get them home and My heart is SO HEAVY for their families.  Our social worker who’s name is Rebecca who has helped us these past 2 years with our homestudy etc..  They too are adopting from Haiti and their daughter is still not home and My heart is SO HEAVY for them.  A blog friend Cathy who you can follow here is still trying to get her son home.  My heart is SO HEAVY for her.

So as our story continues and major adjustments are happening in this house because of the blessing that our son is home, we do not and will not forget those fighting to get their children home too.  All we know to do is pray. So that is what we continue to do.

Cleared to Land

A while back I did a post called holding pattern as we were waiting on news or word that Frankie would have his papers and somehow get to the US.  Well now he’s here and he really is doing fabulous.  But I still think we just got released from the holding pattern and now they have cleared us to land.  We’ve not landed yet.  Need to check out the best flight options to touch down this plane but we are certainly on the way.  Each day is new.  The language barrier is very hard.  Exploring and setting boundaries for all of us especially for Frankie is still hard too.  The stairs in our house have taken on a whole new meaning.  Bath time is a blast.  Running outside in the “fret” or cold has been fun to watch.  Eating freeze pops is interesting.  Just being together has been truly a blessing.  So much to learn and so many new things each day.  

This morning we slept in late.  I meant to hit the 10 minute snooze button but instead ended up turning off the alarm.  I’m glad we did sleep in.  I think our family needed it.  I needed it.  I’ve been under SO MUCH STRESS for the last 2 weeks…heck for the last few months for that matter and I feel that my body is now starting to relax a bit.  Which is good but at the same time It’s like a day after getting a massage… “you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck”.  I am feeling as if I’ve been hit by a few trucks.

This has become our normal routine.  Morning Milk on the couch.  It is such a joy that there are now 3 faces to look at as I walk by…

I will say this.  Dave and I are AMAZED at how easy the  transition has been so far these past four days.  For both Frankie who seems to not have missed a beat and for our girls who have been truly amazing in accepting him.  I think Dave and I did a good job of keeping them a part of this whole process from Day 1.  For the past year and a half we have literally talked about Frankie every day.  And now that he is physically here, I think the girls just truly feel it’s normal like any other day.  He’s their brother.  He’s been their brother for a long time.  Now it’s just that he is physically here.

I’m not naive and I know we will hit some hard spots sooner or later.  They will come.  It’s just a matter of when.  Personally, I just had some major changes.  My whole schedule has changed in a matter of a week.  I am now a mother of 3 year old twins in a way… and that changes the way you have to go about your day.  We are definitely in survival mode right now.  I’m the mother of a child who is experiencing so many things for the first time and that is challenging and interesting. I thought I had a year to prepare for this moment.  Instead I had a week.    Dave and I are trying to navigate the whole bonding attachment with Frankie.  Everyone has their opinions on how to handle this transition and we are just trying to navigate it the best way we feel how.  Hopefully looking back we won’t have messed up something royally causing damage. 

We’ve been cleared to land.  Just trying to figure out how and when that will happen.  Hopefully we have enough gas, knowledge, love and concern to get us to touchdown with the smoothest landing at just the right moment.

I have over 1300 of un-returned email/blog comments/Facebook comments… I will get to them one day.  I promise. I’ve read EVERY ONE.   Thank you all so much for all your love and support and encouragement.  PLEASE keep it coming.  We need it now I think more than we did before!   Can’t wait for you all to meet Frankie.  He’s one special little guy.  It will be our families JOY to introduce you to him.

Look who has joined the Dance Party!

Look who has joined the dance party.  It’s Frankie’s début.  Please ignore the obnoxious voice in the background.  That is me.